Not alone

Someone read my blog last night! That made me happy for about 5 seconds. Wondering why but then I read other people's. Wonder if they think I am a dickhead. Life is a bit mundane at the moment. Last night I finally got the urge to continue painting the mural I started months ago and my black paint was all dried up. I needed it to do all the background so first I added hot water and then I microwaved it. Ended up with a hard bit of rubber so that was the end of that. Couldn't summon up the energy to set up the sewing machine I borrowed weeks ago with the promise that I would mend my mate Azza's pants with so went to a friends and got drunk instead. Must stop it, every night for ages now and I am getting more and more bloated and more depressed. It works at the time but every morning I feel shit. Soo stuck in a horrendous rut. I feel good for a minimum of 2 hours per day and the rest of the time I am thinking about how I could feel better. I feel like I am pushing shit uphill.